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 Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères

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Onclesam64
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MessageSujet: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Mer 30 Jan - 1:41

Sur Twitter, on a tout type de profil. Comme sur Facebook, vous avez le mec qui s'est inscrit et qui ne poste jamais, celui qui ne jure que par Dieu, le/la gothique, le/la dépressive, celle/celui qui se la pète et bien sur celui qui vous fait marrer à chaque fois.

Et certains sont experts en la matière. Vous trouverez ici des tweets qui m'ont fait marrer (du sourire en coin au vrai )

Vous le remarquerez, les principaux contributeurs seront Al Snow et Maffew (You Know ? Abyss ! Botchamania !) (notamment pour ses réactions en direct lors de PPV).

Here we go !


  • Do You Like Soccer ? No I like to Piledrive her (Tommy Dreamer)



  • I stay off the internet for an entire day to avoid Rumble spoilers and I find out CZW has parted ways with @hetvmessenger I'M SORRY, OK? (Maffew)



  • Women seem to hate being kissed in public these days.. Especially when they don't know who you are. (Al Snow)



  • My wife and I were taking a walk in the park, when we passed a young couple passionately kissing. "Why don't you do that?" she asked me.

    I replied, "I don't even know that woman." (Al Snow)



  • This oxygen mask is crap. I look nothing like oxygen. (Al Snow)



  • I've realised why some drivers speed so close past bicyclists, with the intention of causing them to shit themselves. It's because it works (Al Snow)



  • My friend just got fired from his teaching job because he was having sex with a student. I didn't think it was that big a deal, but the bosses at Guide Dogs for the Blind were really upset .(Al Snow)



  • "your underwear is too tight and very revealing" I said to my wife. She said, "wear your own then dickhead" (Al Snow)



  • I was walking through the park yesterday when I had an unexpected asthmatic attack. I don't know why I didn't hear him wheezing. (Al Snow)



  • How do you confuse a blind person? Hand them a basket ball and ask them to read it (Al Snow)



  • I'm not a stalker. I'm just terrible at saying goodbyes (Al Snow)



  • Insipid Taz Commentary: ''Jeff Hardy is the best at being a hot dog.'' (Maffew)



  • Taz, Devon and Luke Gallows. The question is ''Who sucked on SmackDown?'' (Maffew)



  • No wonder El Generico got signed. Lawler heard someone called ''PWG'' was nine years old and took immediate interest in the product (Maffew)



  • Only Sheamus could make Wade Barrett look tanned (Maffew)



  • How much did it take to bring The Rock back? Millions (AND MILLIONS!) (Maffew)



  • They should replace the BEAT THE CLOCK timer with TIME UNTIL LAWLER DIES AGAIN.(Maffew)



  • ''It's time to Beat The Clock on Raw'' Who's The Clock? That sounds like an awesome gimmick name. Is he on NXT? #YourTimeIsUp (Maffew)


  • I love CM Punk but I hope WWE stop zooming in on his face. The bags under his eyes look like Klingon foreheads (Maffew)


  • ''Del Rio beat Big Show in a LMS match on Smackdown. At the Royal
    Rumble, Big Show will take on ADR in another LMS match.'' Best feud
    ever. (Maffew)


  • Don't try to understand women.

    Women understand women and they hate each other. (Al Snow)


  • I could have been a boxer, like my father.... He could have been a boxer too(Al Snow)


  • I'll never join one of those online dating services. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way.

    Through alcohol and poor judgement. (Al Snow)


  • My doctor's given me a week to live.

    I've gone for one in August in the year 2034 (Al Snow)


  • Apparently I offended my optician last week. She saw me out in town and waved at me but I didn't notice her.

    Well whose fault is that!? (Al Snow)


  • If they did a Divas match mixed with Beat The Clock, Kaitlyn would end up being No. 30 in the Rumble. (Maffew)


  • Daniels vs. Storm was a good match. Then Daniels won and it became a great match. (Maffew)


  • (1) Vodka is made from potatoes. (2) Potatoes are vegetables. (3) Vegetables are always good for you. You're welcome. (Al Snow)


  • Last night this hot girl took my breath away.

    She punched me in the stomach when she caught me staring at her boobs. (Al Snow)


  • Chavo his the Three Amigos, which in this case is EDDY, EDDY and EDDY. (Maffew)


  • Stacy Keibler's WCW name was Ms. Hancock but it was originally supposed to be Ms. Handcock. Kiebler thankfully refused. #Russo (Maffew)


  • I hope Dr. Shelby teams up with Kane & Bryan at Rumble, forcing Rhodes Scholars to team up with Pavlov for a six-man match (Maffew)


  • Kaitlyn wins, which means we get to hear the awesome first five seconds of her theme song! (Maffew)


  • I want a Jurassic Park match between Brodus Clay and Daniel Bryan: Funkasaurus vs. Goat. (Maffew)


  • WWE removing Sin Cara and replacing him with El Generico is the
    difference between breaking all your fingers and growing an extra arm. (Maffew)


  • My mind and my body are starting to strongly disagree about how old I am. (Al Snow)


  • Sitting on the couch together, my wife said to me, "Honey, my hands are so cold".

    I said, "Great! Here, hold my beer!" (Al Snow)


  • I'm going to open a gym called 'Resolutions'. For the first two weeks of the year it's a gym, the rest of the time it's a bar. (Al Snow)


  • Studies have shown orgasms are much harder to achieve with cold feet.

    Luckily I tend to use my penis (Al Snow)


  • Relationships are a lot like algebra.

    Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? (Al Snow)


  • I've just been looking at my most recent bank statement. If only 'Outstanding Balance' was as positive as it sounds. (Al Snow)


  • I hate some of the things my wife shouts during sex.Like, "Honey, I'm home."(Al Snow)


  • Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies? (Al Snow)


  • If you think your child is annoying, imagine what I think. (Al Snow)


  • How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don't show it to her. (Al Snow)


  • If I were Jericho I'd be offended at the ''You've Still Got It'' chants. (Maffew)


  • What's the difference between being a romantic or a stalker?

    It depends on how successful you are. (Al Snow)


  • My wife said, "Do you want to hear the most irritating noise in the world?"

    "Again?" (Al Snow)


  • "I spoke too soon." said no woman ever.(Al Snow)


  • I hate being bipolar. It's fantastic (Al Snow)


  • I reported a clown to the police today.

    I thought he was acting a bit funny around a group of kids. (Al Snow)


  • My friend Barry asked me for advice about contraception.

    I told him to just keep wearing his World of Warcraft t-shirt. (Al Snow)


  • I like to piss off Ipad owners off by listing photos of what I'm selling on eBay, upside down. (Al Snow)


  • "A quiet man is a thinking man".....

    ....a quiet woman is usually pissed off. (Al Snow)


  • Sometimes I sneak up on my alarm clock when its sleeping and yell

    "How does it feel bitch!" (Al Snow)


  • Its a year to the day since my grandad died. I'll never forget his last words..."Oh shit a bus!" (Al Snow)


  • Sometimes I wonder if the prince who kissed Snow White was really just a very disappointed necrophiliac. (Al Snow)


  • This year my resolution is going to be 1080p (Al Snow)


  • Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always wrong and the other is the wife (Al Snow)


  • I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head
    says "haha good one" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap. (Al Snow)


  • 90% of women like men in pink T-Shirt. But ironically, 90% of men in pink T-Shirt don't like women. (Al Snow)


  • Quick FYI : Hospitals hate it when you unplug things to charge your phone without asking first


  • This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that's also the last time I'll buy cheap toilet paper...


  • Christmas.That time of year when the whole family gets together to
    remind themselves why they spend the rest of the year avoiding each
    other


  • 3 out of 5 smokers die.

    Apparently the other two become immortal.


  • Don't worry about a Third World War,I don't think the third world are up to it.......


  • If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?


  • Russian Roulette - you win some, you lose one.


  • I've just found out I suffer from Schizophrenia.I, on the other hand, don't.

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Sharpshooter
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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Mer 30 Jan - 2:51

Al Snow, c'est toujours l'assurance d'un bon trait d'esprit.^^

Le compte de WWE Creative Humor vaut aussi le détour, j'ai bien aimé leur manière d'aborder les appréhensions de certains quant au Main-Event de WM.

"It's @TheRock vs. @JohnCena at Wrestlemania. That was one short lifetime. #RoyalRumble"

"We're in the gambling capital of the world, Las Vegas; ironically 24 hours after the least risky PPV booking in years #RAWTonight"

"Andre Agassi looks horrified...and he's seen Steffi Graf naked before #RAWTonight"

"Here comes The Great Khali at 23. By the time he makes it into the ring he'll be entrant 24 #RoyalRumble"
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Tombstone
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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Jeu 31 Jan - 1:52

Citation :
Sitting on the couch together, my wife said to me, "Honey, my hands are so cold".

I said, "Great! Here, hold my beer!" (Al Snow)

lol lol lol

Merci Tonton, elles sont toutes excellentes ces citations. Al Snow rules ! cheers
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Onclesam64
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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Jeu 31 Jan - 2:03

  • Did You Know: The Elimination Chamber was what we used to call Kelly Kelly's hotel room (WWE Creative Humor)


  • People always call me miserable. Which makes me sad because my name is Al. (Al Snow)


  • What seperates men from animals? Divorce (Al Snow)


  • The edit out the footage of Flair elbow dropping his jacket. Don't tell me the jacket killed a family or something? (Maffew)


  • Kofi Kingston's Titantron says I CAN FLY. Shame it doesn't say I CAN WIN, eh?(Maffew)


  • I promise I'll never swear again if Cena doesn't wi- FUCK (Maffew)


  • Miz getting THE POWER OF THE FIGURE-FOUR is like Abyss getting THE POWER OF THE HALL OF FAME RING. Except worse because it's Miz. (Maffew)


  • ''Rumble was more socially active than The Simpsons''? Well what are you supposed to tweet during The Simpsons? ''FAT TONY IS OVERPUSHED''?
    ''RALPH WIGGUM IS ONLY ON TV BECAUSE OF NEPOTISM'' (Maffew)



  • *'No Chance in Hell' plays over the PA, Mayor Quimby enters the arena* (Maffew)


  • Raw Roulette is almost Python-esque in it's mixture of weird ideas with no punchlines/relevance to reality. (Maffew)


  • Why do Cena, Rock and Jericho act EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME on this episode of Raw? Did they all graduate from Babyface U? (Maffew)

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Flying Panda
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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Jeu 31 Jan - 12:03

Excellent !! lol
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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Dim 3 Fév - 19:16


  • Remember boys, Valentines Day is only two weeks away... It's not too late to break up with her. #FIVE (King Kong Bundy)

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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Dim 3 Fév - 22:27

  • Today I took my girlfriend to the movies .

    "Two tickets please," I said to the guy at the counter.

    "For the Hobbit?"

    "She's my girlfriend, actually." (Al Snow)

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TheStraightedge17
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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Dim 3 Fév - 22:34

Énorme la dernière d'Al Snow et le Hobbit lol
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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Lun 4 Fév - 0:08

La femme d'Al Snow doit en avoir de l'humour avec tout ce qu'elle se prend !
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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Lun 4 Fév - 0:13

Ou alors elle est sourde.
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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Sam 9 Fév - 14:48

  • 2 weeks today I'm entering the steel cage for the 1st time EVER! It's a @ProWrestlingEVE show you don't wanna miss!

    @rdpixie how do you train for a match like that?! Smile

    drink a lot of alcohol...(Rhia O'Reilly)


  • DUSTY RHODES! ROAD WARRIORS! POWERS OF PAIN! IVAN KOLOFF! CHICAGO STREET FIGHT! BARBED WIRE! It lasts 3:39.(Maffew devant un Clash of the Champions)


  • I have sex almost every day. I almost had it yesterday and almost had it today. (Al Snow)


  • If you could chose between World Peace and Bill Gates' fortune, what color would your Lamborghini be (Al Snow)


  • Driving is a lot like sex. If everyone was as good at it as they thought they were, there wouldn't be as many accidents (Al Snow)


  • Amish Online Dating? The true definition of irony (Al Snow)

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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Mer 13 Fév - 2:14


  • How can you possibly explain the concept of death to a young child?

    Well, you need a hamster and a hammer (Al Snow)

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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Sam 16 Fév - 15:09

  • Bo Dallas? Bo Verrated #raw (Wrestling_Memes)


  • The @HeymanHustle Retirement Commemorative Plaque: it may have only lasted for six minutes but those were six memorable minutes. #Merch (WWE Creative Humor)

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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Sam 16 Fév - 17:41

  • Who is the mysterious leader of Aces & Eights? Depends on which Superstar we release after WrestleMania #TNAwful (WWE Creative Humor)

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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Lun 11 Mar - 14:30

  • Will Brock Lesnar accept @TripleH's challenge? Depends on whether he has the heart, the guts or the contractually available date #RAWTonight (WWE Creative Humor)

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MessageSujet: Re: Twitter des catcheurs, l'humour en 140 caractères   Mar 27 Aoû - 22:10

Spoiler WWE Raw:

Spoiler:
 

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